April 2010

Monthly Archive


Posted by on 08 Apr 2010 | Tagged as: caretaker, family, wifehood

I’ve decided to change the theme of the blog slightly.
It’s still about my life as a housewife, but I’m also going to talk about being a caretaker to my husband, who is battling chronic pain.

My husband came up with the phrase “survival in paradise.” It accurately describes our situation. We live in a geodesic dome on a nice piece of property right where the San Bernardino County part of the San Gabriels meet the High Desert. It does feel like paradise. And yet we’re in survival mode due to my husband’s health issues.

Stay tuned…


Posted by on 07 Apr 2010 | Tagged as: caretaker, family, wifehood

In late 1996, I was 21 and about to drop out of college to move in with my soul mate. He made it clear that he had no desire to become a father. He was 34, so I knew he was not going to change his mind. Instead of feeling sad, I felt relieved.

Ten years ago, we eloped while on vacation in Maui. We could have had a “proper” wedding, but I wanted to be a wife, not a bride.
I got my tubes tied 20 days later, to ensure that our marriage remained childfree. Most people thought I’d reach my thirties and bemoan my sterility, especially if my marriage didn’t work out. Well, I’ve reached that age, and still get giddy about being in a childfree marriage.

Our marriage is definitely not what we thought it would be at this point in time. You see, my husband was diagnosed with two painful spinal conditions a few months ago. His condition has no cure, and has deteriorated over the winter. Being his sole caretaker and advocate has been quite an ordeal. Interestingly, I have found a few similarities in caring for a spouse with chronic pain and taking care of a child. However, unlike a child, my husband can express his needs and show gratitude, which makes it easy for me to have the strength and patience a caretaker requires.